What You Say

I’m sitting in a coffee shop and overhear a conversation next to me. I heard the words “homeless” and “poor” so I decided to listen in a little bit. What I heard encouraged me and dismayed me.

In a nutshell, the conversation was a man explaining to his friends how he likes to spend his time sitting with the homeless and bringing them food. He then told his friends, “The homeless are my Africa, because they’re just as poor.”

This stirs up a few feelings in me. Part of me applauds the man and I’m thankful for his desire to meet real and tangible needs. I’m easily overwhelmed by that need and find myself paralyzed into inaction. This man is doing a good work that is much needed and I’m grateful he has accepted such a challenge.

But a different part of me is frustrated by his statement. No doubt he truly means it; but to compare America’s poor and homeless to the situations of people living in Africa is just painful. (Side note: the decor in this coffee shop is pictures of Kenyan orphans. I’m just sayin’.) By no means am I an expert in American homelessness or in African life. But I do know this: American poor can find clean water. American poor can get help from the government (though it is woefully inadequate). There is help available for the American homeless, even if it is insufficient.

I don’t intend to ride a high horse in this case; I don’t pretend to be deeply involved in EITHER situation.

What frustrates me is that this man has created an unfair comparison in his head and is sharing it with his friends. I doubt that he has created this statement “The homeless are my Africa, because they’re just as poor” in order to impress people or validate what he does. It is just a simple, catchy phrase I expect he has used before and is now comfortable with. But it makes me sad that we NEED to compare; I’m dismayed at how easily we put things beside each other for the sake of simplicity. Why justify your passion for the homeless by comparing it to another need that is NOT comparable?

I guess what this raises for me are the questions, “What are my ‘sayings’ that I haven’t really thought through? How am I being careless with my words?”

Be careful what you say.

Exhaustion and Joy

A few days ago, I was with a close friend and we were discussing the seasons coming for both of us. His past year has been one of diligence and patience; he has worked hard and in six months this period will be over. Not only will that season come to a close, but the fruit of that work will be present; and I anticipate that his work will produce much of it.

He characterized the past year as a time of “deep exhaustion and deep joy.” I found that pairing to be beautiful, poetic and true. How often are exhaustion and joy partnered together?

It reminded me of a three month stretch in 2006 when I was unemployed. I was living on a friend’s couch in San Clemente, a five-minute walk to the beach. Every day I slept in, watched a little SportsCenter and then went body surfing. I’d work on my tan and then head out for some afternoon Starbucks and reading. When I tell people how I spent that summer, they are envious. It just seems so relaxing to them…no responsibilities, no schedule…it seems so restful.

So why does my stomach drop whenever I talk about those three months?

I think it’s because I had no joy. There really wasn’t much to my life in that season.

Vacation is only restful because it is a pause, a respite from the ordinary. The first two weeks of my couch-surfing were enjoyable until they became my daily reality; after that I just felt aimless and unfulfilled.

I don’t believe that we are to work ourselves to the point of collapse, but I do believe that there is something to be said for the connection between joy and participating in life. Perhaps the lesson is this: our goal should not be to have fuller schedules leading to exhaustion. I’m not sure there’s joy to be found in being busy. Rather, caring deeply, working passionately and being devoted to our commitments will lead to joy. My friend is exhausted because he participates in things that have meaning and purpose, not just fluff that packs his schedule. He is exhausted because he has poured his heart into life, and that has led to joy.

Go and do the same.