Why I'm Not Busy Anymore

Let’s get clear about something right now: my calendar is massively full right now. There’s a lot on my plate. But I’ve started refusing to say I’m busy. “Why,” you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. There are two reasons.

I suppose I should first explain what brought about this shift for me. Don’t worry, it’s connected to my reasons for changing. Whenever anyone has asked me recently how I’m doing, I have the same standard response: I’m busy. No doubt this has been my reply for a long time, but it is only lately that I’ve noticed that “busy” is my default answer. As I’ve thought about this, I’ve realized it’s a huge problem that my answer isn’t an answer at all.

First of all, I’m always busy. While I have seasons that are more or less full than others, I can always describe my plate as full and my calendar as packed. Doesn’t that therefore mean that “busy” equals “normal” in my life? If busy is the state I’m constantly in, that’s actually just my usual. Everyone I know describes themselves as busy, and no doubt that’s true; but if we are ALL ALWAYS busy, I think we need to rethink how we talk about it. To me, “busy” implies “moreso than normal.” So I’m going to stop telling people I’m busy when really, I’m just living my usual full life.

Second, when people ask me how I’m doing, I reply with what I’m doing. They want to know how I am and respond by telling them that my calendar is full? What’s up with that? It’s not to impress them or convince them that I’m important; I’m positive that’s not the reason. But really, there’s something wrong with my communication and my priorities when my closest friends ask how I am and I essentially tell them what I’m doing.

Who I am is not defined by what I do, and my language needs to reflect that. So I hereby declare that I am no longer busy. I am normal, and next time you see me, you should ask how I’m doing.