Sometimes it feels like I have a mild form of split-personality disorder. There’s Past Brendan, who is usually blamed for all my problems; Present Brendan, who makes all the sacrifices; and finally Future Brendan, who is probably going to be perfectly complete and have his life together.
I tend to live for the future, making compromises now that will benefit me in the time to come (For example, years and years of grad school so that Future Brendan can put fun letters after his name or paying lots of money now to own a house that will hopefully be worth more money someday). Consequently, I have a hard time living in the present; rather, I spend a great deal of time focusing on whatever comes next, whether that’s tomorrow, next month or a year from now.
Because of my inability to live in the present, Advent is hard for me. The difficulty with Advent (Hey, that’s the title of this blog! What an odd coincidence…) is that it is a time of year when I am supposed to live primarily in the present. I’m intended to sit in the “now” as I await an impending “then.” I find this challenging in general as I usually live for the future but it gets even more complicated; the “then” is ALSO vitally important. The essence of living in the now of Advent is that it is a four week long season of anticipation. Rob Bell calls Advent “The moment before the Moment” and that’s the difficulty. How on earth do I celebrate and exist fully in the present when my present is celebrating a future event? Advent is supposed to be different than the rest of the year, but it seems to me that ends up being more of the same; I live for Christmas day.
But there is a lesson in Advent and I think it is actually more applicable to the other 11 months. The future event has value and may be my main focus; yet, there is growth in the anticipation of that coming. In regards to school, I’m learning and developing along the way, not just waiting for a piece of paper to put on the wall. That house I’m using as an investment has proven to be a place for me to host, provide a home for people without one and give my community somewhere to draw deeper in relationship with each other.
Perhaps the anticipation of a future event is what gives the immediate its value; knowing that the future has something coming creates opportunities for me in the present.
So Future Brendan, say thanks to Present Brendan; not only is he working hard now to make your life easier, he’s becoming a better person now so that you can creep closer to being perfected.
THE STATION
ReplyDeleteBy Robert J. Hastings
TUCKED AWAY in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision in which we see ourselves
on a long journey that spans an entire continent. We're traveling by train and, from the
windows, we drink in the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at
crossings, of cattle grazing in distant pastures, of smoke pouring from power plants, of row
upon row upon row of cotton and corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of city skylines and
village halls.
But uppermost in our conscious minds is our final destination--for at a certain hour and on a
given day, our train will finally pull into the station with bells ringing, flags waving, and bands
playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we
pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead, waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
"Yes, when we reach the station, that will be it!" we promise ourselves. "When we're
eighteen. . . win that promotion. . . put the last kid through college. . . buy that 450SL
Mercedes-Benz. . . have a nest egg for retirement!"
From that day on we will all live happily ever after.
Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no station in this life, no one earthly
place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The station is an illusion--it
constantly outdistances us. Yesterday's a memory, tomorrow's a dream. Yesterday belongs to a
history, tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday's a fading sunset, tomorrow's a faint sunrise. Only
today is there light enough to love and live.
So, gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It isn't the burdens of today
that drive men mad, but rather regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and
fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.
"Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24, "This is
the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."
So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more
mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot oftener.
Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we
go along. The station will come soon enough.